Crossing the Finish Line

November 20th, 2013

It's difficult to believe that my time here on STINT in South Africa is coming to a close. Nick and I just arrived back to Durban today from a week long holiday/debrief in Cape Town. The trip was just amazing. We got to see some of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life. The whole experience was just incredible--full of adventure and relaxation all at the same time. We were given some debrief materials from our global missiondirectors stateside, and Nick and I both found them extremely helpful. Being the internal processor that I am,I loved thinking through the questions and getting to talk through them with Nick and bounce insights off of one another. It all still seems a bit surreal. (We will be homein 3 weeks!) After a little much needed time spent away from Durban, part of me feels like I'm going back to work tomorrow (despite work here being officially "over"). The last weekly meeting on campus was at the end of October and since then, I have started saying my good-byes to students. Overall, my last few weeks spent in discipleship with my students was such a joy and blessing. I love my disciples here with all my heart and a couple of them have grown to be my closest friends here. I am so thankful that so many of them are excited about making disciples and living for Jesus....knowing this definitely makes it a little easier to leave. I am confident that they will continue following Jesus and advancing the Kingdom. Like the rest of the year, though, my last couple months had highs and lows. I did have one of my emotional lows of the year during the end of October. I found out that one of my students who I had been discipling for several months was not actually a Christian. It's a really long story but basically I was shocked, crushed, confused and heart-broken for a few days. I just had to keep surrendering it to the Lord. Thankfully, I finally got some closure with her and God gave me peace with the situation. I trust that God is in control (something that I've had to learn over and over this year).

Yes, this year has been a crazy year of ups and downs, highs and lows, and everything in between. It's been challenging, frustrating, faith-stretching, exhausting, exciting, joy-filled.....you name it, more than likely, I experienced it (or at least I feel like I experienced every kind of emotion!) But as I have reflected upon this year and everything that the Lord has taught me, I realize that I couldn't have grown in one year in the ways I did if it had been just another year back home. I would not trade this year for anything! I know I am different and I know I have been refined and sanctified. It's definitely a bittersweet good-bye. Because I've been so shaped and changed here, I feel like South Africa will always be with me in a sense. And my hope and prayer is that I've helped shape and change the people here as well.

At this point, I'm anticipating the transition or what they call "re-entry". I know it's going to be difficult. I've processed it a bit, but I know there are some aspects of re-entry that I'll just have to deal with as I go. It's a little scary, but God has kept impressing upon my heart and mind a few words from Isaiah over the last couple weeks: "Fear not, for I am with you." (43:5) I know I'll need to remember these powerful words over and over, especially during the few months back. God is sovereign and completely in control. His timing is perfect every single time. In whatever situation I find myself in, I can be content because of Jesus. I pray I never forget these truths and never stop living them out! To the people of South Africa, thank you for sharing your lives with me. Thank you for magnifying parts of God that I had never seen before. Thank you for giving me grace and thank you for allowing me, a foreigner, to speak into your life.And to God, thank you that you made the country of South Africa. Thank you that it was Your plan to call me here and to teach me things that I would not have learned otherwise. Thank you for using these people toencourage me and sanctify me ultimately for Your glory Lord. As a result of this year and these people, I know that I know You better and in turn am able to enjoy You more, which glorifies You. Praise be unto You!!! May I never forget who You are and what You have done here.