Running the Race

September 28th, 2013

It's currently Saturday, and Nick and I have had this week off because students are on their mid-term break. I am feeling much better about these last four weeks on campus now that we have had a refreshing and relaxing and much needed break. I believe my last blog was written at a time when things were still going pretty well from the momentum of our summer project team and ministry on campus was going well. Things have been difficult since then. The last few weeks before break were really rough. Nick and I were feeling physically finished and emotionally and mentally drained. We were honestly counting down the days to break. I think I must have hit my breaking point. I remember one week I just was not feeling myself at all. Over that weekend, Nick could tell I was not doing well. I can't even explain it but I felt a bit depressed but not for any particular reason. That same weekend, I cried at just about everything andoftentimes could not pinpoint why. I think my body was just telling me I needed rest. I believe I had one more week to go at that point and the Lord brought me through faithfully, as He always does. It's the very weird reality of this STINT experience though, some days are amazing and exciting and others I'm just miserable and ready to go home. These past four weeks have been a fight for joy. I decided in my mind that no matter what was going on I was going to fight for joy and believe that true joy isfound in Christ alone and not determined by my circumstances or feelings. It's been a hard fight, but my God is faithful and He's felt nearer than ever. I've entitled this post "running the race" because I've been clinging to scriptures on this topic. The author of Hebrews encourages us to "run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus..." (12:1-2) and at the end ofPaul's life he says "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7) Istarted really meditating on this stuff and it has been powerful and good for my soul. I want to be able to say that powerful statement along with Paul at the end of my life...but I also want to be able to confidently say these words at the end of this STINT year. In many ways its felt like a race Im running, and my prayer for myself is that I'd continue running with perseverance and joy as I look to Christ, that I would finish this "race" and knowI've been faithful to everything God has given me here in South Africa. When I was going through that rough patch this month, God took me to these verses and I just wept.

Insert psalm 63:1-8.

This past week of break has felt like relief anddeliverance. I am so thankful that it came exactly when it did. God always knows what we need. His timing is perfect every time, and that's worth celebrating.