When fears are stilled and strivings cease

August 9th, 2013

Wow! These past four weeks were amazing. It's now Friday and the summer project team from the States left on Monday. They had been with us for two full weeks in the community and then two weeks on campus. I'd say I'm definitely still recovering physically because it seemed like we never stopped. It was an exhausting four weeks, but honestly the most refreshing weeks I have had all year. Having Americans here doing ministry with us was incredible. I did my fair share of crying on Monday because I just didn't want them to leave! But it was also amazing how much Jesus comforted me that day. I was like "Jesus, you need to be my closest friend!!" And He was. The Holy Spirit is truly the Comforter. With His help, the few days on campus this past week without all the other summer project students was actually awesome. God's given me so much to be thankful for and excited about on campus this new semester, thanks to the summer project and how hard they worked and were willing to step out in faith. I was a bit overwhelmed at first with all the contacts we were getting on campus, but Matthew 11:28-30 has been my "go-to" scripture. I've been learning a lot about taking Jesus' yoke upon me and actually surrendering control. I've realized that I can be a bit of a control freak when it comes to certain things and God revealed to me over the last few weeks more of my idol of control, especially when it comes to ministry and even my spiritual performance. I'm learning to just walk in step with the Spirit, to abide in Christ and his teaching, and to just take His yoke upon me. It's exhausting to pull the plow if I'm trying to do it by myself or in my own strength. His yoke is easy and His burden is light indeed. A few verses from a hymn started speaking to me in a deeper way as I was experiencing all this stuff. "What heights of love, what depths of peace, when fears are stilled, and strivings cease..." Oh these lyrics are so beautiful to me!! I'm learning to stop striving, to stop worrying and to just trust in the Lord. His love and peace are so amazing and overwhelming. His perfect love casts out fear. Yep, it's all these things that I've been learning these past few weeks.

Oh and the deep community I experienced while summer project was here was probably my highlight of the entire four weeks. Every Monday during project, we all divided into discipleship groups. I co-led the group with another girl my age who came from the states (who lived in South Africa for two years doing what Nick and I are doing this year). Our group had four students, two of whom were my disciples back home in Statesboro. Words cannot even express how amazing it was to study the bible and talk about spiritual things with these women!! I don't have someone discipling me here, so being with a small group of women (American women at that) was so refreshing for my heart and soul. I definitely found myself longing for home like never before. I miss home a lot. Most everything about it. I miss community with other women that I just don't really get here, I miss my staff team and my students, I miss my family, I miss my dog, and I even miss the culture in America.

About half the summer project came with me to Howard campus, and it was incredible to actually have a team to work with—I was so thankful for more laborers! Until they came to campus with me, I didn't realize just how alone I felt on campus before. I mean I technically have one other guy on staff who works at Howard with me, but I hardly see him on campus, so I might as well be working by myself. I'm the only staff woman on campus, so having seven other women join me was just unbelievable. Because of them I have a new excitement about finishing this year strong! God is doing incredible things on campus! Students are coming to faith, and student leaders are stepping up and all of them are leading discipleship groups this semester. I feel like my heart is full at the moment! I'm missing project a little bit, and I'm sure as the weeks go on, I'll be tempted to lose heart, but right now I'm pressing on with joy thanks to the Lord! Only 10 full weeks left on campus and a lot of work to do. Here goes nothin'!